Fear

You're alone at home washing up after supper. You left the TV on with one ear eagerly waiting to hear the starting jingle of the next show. Then you hear 3 soft thumps outside the window. You start to wonder who or what could have caused that. Did a stray dog come close to your house? Is it an armed robber? Do evil spirits make physical sounds? Your brain starts applying the permutation and combination you learnt in math class. Your heart starts beating faster. All this while, plate-washing has been paused just so you hear something else to frighten you a bit more or allay your fears. Fight or flight. You’re wondering what to do next.

Many times, we find ourselves in situations like this and get scared more often than not. Why are we afraid? What are we afraid of? If an evil spirit wanted to get you, would it actually make noises outside when it can go through walls and come straight at you? Armed robbers are scared too that’s why they come in stealth mode. They would have just bulldozed their way into your sitting room.

As human beings, we grow up being obliged to fear one thing or the other as a sort of deterrent from doing something inappropriate. “If you don’t eat your food, I’ll call the fire man!” always made me finish my plate as a child. I had no idea what the fire man did actually but I was just scared of what he could possibly do. I wasn't ready for the ramifications of what could have happened.  The fear of the unknown. It’s one of our greatest enemies. We’re faced with it every day and it often leads to procrastination or even failure to pursue rewarding endeavors; from approaching people of the opposite sex to venturing into businesses. Why should I take that risk? Why shouldn't you?

As a child, I was afraid of everything. It was so bad that when I was alone with my mum and she had to go to the toilet, I’d stop whatever I was doing and follow her into the toilet. It was always safer by her side. The scent had to be pleasurable because it was better than being left alone. See, words can’t describe how bad it was. She realized this and adopted a strategy. Every evening, she’d sit me down and narrate a true-life horror experience to me. Why I sat down to listen, only God knows. I still remember the stories so vividly. Some of the stories featured pigs in scarves, dwarves playing football with cement blocks and little black evil spirits who looked like Betty Boop. Each episode scared the joy and happiness out of my little soul.

Today, I’m glad I grew up with all those stories. Though they didn't seem to have any moral at the end, I learnt a lot from them. I started to question what exactly I was afraid of. She had made it out alive from all those encounters. She was encouraging me subtly to face my fears. Now, I hear noises in the dark and either act nonchalantly or actually check them out if I thought it was physically safe. I learnt that no matter what it was that you were afraid of, people had faced worse and made it. I’m not saying I’m a dare-devil. I’m saying I don’t get scared easily.

The fear of death, rejection, failure, neglect etc is being worn by everyday people now more often than underwear. Apart from death, which is the end, aren't these negatives we so dread supposed to make us stronger? Take failure for example. Michael Jordan was kicked out of his high school basketball team. Walt Disney was once fired from a newspaper because he ‘lacked no new ideas’. Oprah was told she wasn't fit for TV and was demoted. Even Steve Jobs was forced out of Apple in 1985. Who are you to be afraid to fail? Of course there’s also the other side of fear, the good side where it lets us save ourselves from legitimate threats –physically or emotionally. When you see a Rottweiler charging down on you, use your head. This isn't a fight or flight situation. Run! Don’t ignore your final exams and say you’re not afraid of failure. Bill Gates didn't drop out of school dumb! Our ability to predict possible future scenarios and relive past occurrences gives us the needed skill to still be the most dominant creatures on earth. On the other hand, we have the certainty of a fearful future and the haunting ghosts of the past. Fear may have aided our ancestors in surviving long enough to make us but it’s making many people today unable to live freely and truly. I say, don’t let fear be a burden but rather an adviser

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